InCouragments Insight - Our Children

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Our Children

Most of you that know me know that my daughter Taylor is the most important thing in my life. You all know that I love being a mother and I place parenting at the top of my list of importance.

An incident occurred on this past weekend with Taylor that made me realize how important it is for us to be good, observant and aware parents when it comes to our children. We as parents have to be our childrens protector, encourager, motivator, and an example of what's good and moral in this world.

I ask each of you as parents these questions and please ponder on them:

• Do you find the opportunity to tell your children you love them everyday?

If, not start now and do it on a daily basis, even if it's through text, or email, this also goes for the children away at college or away from home, they are never too old to hear I love you from parents.

• How often do you tell your children they are leaders, that you believe in them, or that they can conquer anything? How often do you encourage them?

Before Taylor leaves the house in the morning I tell her she is "A Leader, Not a Follower", I also recite Phillipians 4:13 to her "She can do anything through Christ that strengthens her" . I used to put post it notes in her lunch with quotes, or just a special note from mommy. (I have to start doing this daily again)

• Do you still have dinner with your child and just sit and talk?

I believe this is the best time to hear what is going on with your children, for some reason while sharing a meal with no other distractions, children like to talk a lot ( at least my child does). How often do you take your children out to breakfast, lunch,or dinner just to hang out, this is a good opportunity to build the relationship with your children. Find something in common that you have with your children, and then do that once a month with your children. One of the many things Taylor and I have in common are that we both have a love for books, so we are regulars at "Borders" . We just sit side by side and read what books interest us, and have these great conversations (my daughter is a fanatic about Greek Mythology, it amazes me). Our new commanality is exercising together, we do Pilates and Zumba(thanks Dre), it has now brought forth a conversation regarding health, she is concerned about what we eat(in particular what I eat, she is my food and exercise Nazi)

• How often do you ask your children what's bothering them, do they need to talk about something?
  

Taylor and I have these sessions called "You can say what you want" this is an opportunity to let her get out anything that's bothering her without any consequences. I allow Taylor to even have a voice when it comes to something she thought I was incorrect about. Remember parenting is an ongoing learning process, and we can learn from our children. These sessions allow her to get emotions out and thoughts out, I always want her to talk openly and freely to me.

Please know this I am not a perfect parent, I am a imperfect person trying to raise a "Phenomanal Kid" that will some day become an "Amazing Adult". I by no means have the perfect parenting techniques, but I am trying hard on a daily basis to be the very best parent I can be to Taylor, she deserves nothing but a 100% from me.

See, we have to realize this, our children did not ask to be a part of this journey we made that decision for them, so we have to be the best at what we do for them. We are their advocates, we fight for their futures, we are responsible for the outcome of their future.

Spend time with your nieces and nephews, my niece is a joy, and it is amazing how much she pays attention to me. A short story regarding my niece Kinzie, she started pre-school this year, and so I wanted to do the same thing with her that I do with Taylor, I wanted her to know that she is a leader. So, I started telling her to say "I'm a leader, not a follower", so she would recite it my way, but then later on she started saying it in her own way, she would say "TeTe" "I'm not following, I'm a leader right", it was too cute, but at least she understood that she should not be following. My point we should be making impact on the kids in our lives, especially the ones close to us, it will follow them to adulthood.

So, in essence let's be more in tune with our children and the children around us, be observant and be involved. I also want you to know that this message is just not for the parents this is for Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Godparents, and any children that are a part of your life. We all can be that village for these children, participate in their lives positively anyway you can. I have some children that I missed out on being a part of their lives, but as young adults I will be the best I can to help them in their future.

Be InCouraged
Mechell